Recently, I have been suffering from a case of "The Grass is Always Greener" symptom. According to The G.A.G I am living in this perpetual world in which everywhere else is better than here. I'm not going to use this blog as a forum for complaining so I won't go into why life here is so not all that it is cracked up to be. But instead, I will explain this odd complex I have developed in trying to find solutions to make myself "happier" or my life "better".
Let me preface by saying that much of what I'm currently believing is untrue and straight from Satan himself.
Ok so here is the thing... I would change nothing about my currently phase of life (ok, well ALMOST nothing). I love my little man, and being able to stay home with him. I love my hubby and his job is pretty spectacular. What I don't love is the location in which my current phase of life is playing out.
I look back on the days before moving back to Columbus as "the good ol' days." Days of splendor and joy. I blame some of these fond memories on the newness of being married and on my own. I contribute it to the sense of adventure of moving to a new place every six months and discovering a new world. To a fresh pallet (or apartment) to decorate and organize, new friends to meet, churches to visit. And well lets be honest, in North Carolina the grass is usually greener.
Lately, I have had the urge to pick up and move. Put the house up for sale, pack up all we own, and move back to the places we loved. I am feeling antsy to find some new scenery, new options, new faces, Everything here seems dirty and gray, my relationships are disappointing, and I still don't feel settled. But then I remind myself that when I lived there I struggled from this same complex and our current residing place was where "the grass was greener." I frequently let my husband know (subtly?) that I wasn't happy where we were living and I wanted to move home. He must have gotten the picture because here we are back where I would be "happy" and "home".
Which begs the question... Why do we looks so fondly on our histories, our pasts, and see the grass as greener. We do this with people, friendships, relationships, stages of our children's lives, etc. Always wishing we could go back to when times were "easier" or "more fun". We see the women on television that keep going back to abusive relationships over and over and wonder why they would do such a thing. Isn't it just a bad (ok tragic) case of "The Grass is Always Greener"?
So how do I overcome G.A.G? I think the root of this stems back to my primary sin and struggle with...drumroll please...discontentment. How to I find contentment right here? By slowing down, focusing on this moment, and being grateful for the here and now. Remembering...
"They are like a breath, their days like a fleeting shadow." -Psalm 144:4
I don't have time to waste suffering from G.A.G. Wishing I were someplace else, somewhere greener.